


Hell's Kitchen: Avengers Vs Slayers

by Reload_Paige



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 19:06:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8679871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reload_Paige/pseuds/Reload_Paige
Summary: Inspired by a dream following a binge HK and Buffy watching session.





	

Announcer's voice over:   
Last time on Hell's Kitchen, Antman was sent home off the Blue team. While Xander and Black Widow were swapped with Chef Ramsay hoping Widow can bring some cohesion to the Blue team who are now calling themselves the Avengers.  
The teams are shown leaving the kitchen and heading to the dorms. Clint tackle-hugs Natasha with relief. Xander and Willow do the Snoopy happy dance.

In the confessional pantry  
Steve Rodgers : I'm sorry to see Scott go. He worked hard and gave a lot to the team but in all honesty, Bruce is a better chef all-round. I'm still worried about Thor and Tony as neither of them seem to be taking this seriously.  
~~~~~~~~~  
The opening credits show the 18 chefs battle an array of sentient kitchen equipment and the two sous-chefs, culminating with Chef standing high above them. Among the battling chefs are, in order of appearance, Tony Stark, Willow, Faith, Bruce Banner, Steve Rodgers, Natasha Romanov, Xander Harris, Wanda, Rupert Giles, Vision, Buffy, Ant man, Thor, Anya, Tara, Jenny Calendar with Clint and Dawn finishing the sequence.   
~~~~~~~~~

The two teams sit drinking, "Not you, Dawn...you're still too young!" from Buffy. "And you should be in bed, it's late." Dawn looks longingly at the hot-tub before slowly slouching towards the dorm room.  
~~~~~~~~~

The next morning the two teams are awoken by police sirens from outside the kitchen studio. They race to dress and join Chef in the kitchens. Inside are police from both Sunnydale and New York.  
In the confessional pantry

Steve: These guys, they are the Real American heroes, you know...They lay their lives down every day but we get the glory . It's going to be an honour to cook for them..

Faith: I prefer firemen.

Tony: Those sirens are too loud. I could make something better. Jarvis remind me to fix those things.  
~~~~~~~~~  
Chef Ramsay: Today's challenge is to cook brunch for our hard working men and women in blue. However, there's also an inter-force 5k challenge. I'm running for the Hell's Kitchen team. I want one nominee from each of your teams to join me while the rest prepare for service. However , the teams can only start taking orders when their runner has returned. do you understand?

Both teams: Yes Chef.  
The two teams quickly chose.  
Chef Ramsey: Blue Team..sorry Avengers?  
Tony: We chose Steve.  
Chef: Red team or do you have a cutesy nick-name as well?  
Buffy: Scoobys, Chef. And Faith is our choice.

Chef: As normal with the challenges No Magic. Our resident Mage , Dr Strange will be checking for any mystical auras. Faith, Steve , you have five minutes to change and meet me outside.

~~~~~~~~~  
In the confessional pantry  
Tony: Super-serum...It's a given. I mean Steve's going to win. Faith's a sweet kid and her ass in those tight leathers she likes..Well let's say she's in the Tony Stark Top Five of Leather Clad Ass.

Willow: It's going to be Faith. I mean, every-one knows about the Secret Super-Serum (laughs) but they don't know how the Slayers are created..I mean One in a Generation and we have two on our team..

~~~~~~~~~  
Announcer's voice over:   
The 5K has been started and all the competitors are racing. Steve has shown an early lead but Faith is catching up on him. Chef Ramsay is part of the pack being left behind.  
Faith and Steve are now neck and neck but..Faith's fallen.

Fade to adverts.

After adverts..

Faith is running into the kitchen , the Scooby's cheer and start on their first order. Sous-chef Andi is calling out the orders and food is quickly being sent. Chef Ramsay is next. The Avengers are looking worried . Steve eventually limps in . He'd tried to help Faith when she'd fallen but she'd accidentally hit him and knocked him out. The Avengers start to cook but their down time is too great and the Scoobys win. The Scoobys prize is a day at the Spa with Tony delivering Champaign and lemonade.

The penalty is prepping the kitchen's for tomorrow night's special meal including setting up Chef's tables in each.  
~~~~~~~~~

 

Announcer's voice over:   
The Scoobys head to Magnificent Super-Spa to spend the day being pampered  
Pictures of the five women and Xander having facials, legs being waxed , mani-pedis..

Scenes of the Avengers cleaning , ironing, preparing glassware and cutlery, Tony fetching and carrying bottles and glasses..eating or trying to eat some vile smoothie made from the remnants of the brunch service. Tony and Steve successfully guzzling theirs. Clint was violently sick with his but Bruce, Thor and Natasha manfully forced their drinks down.   
The Scoobys return all prettied up to some good and not so good natured ribbing by the Avengers.  
The usual post-service drinking and moon montage is shown.  
~~~~~~~~~  
The next day sees both teams finishing prepping the kitchens. Just before service, Chef Ramsay calls for both teams to assemble for their final briefing.   
Chef Ramsay: Tonight is a first for Hell's Kitchen. It's the first time we've had a Big Bad Reunion in Hell's Kitchen and I expect this to be the first time you both manage a complete service. We also have guests at the chef's tables so I expect you all to greet them as you already know them. In the red..sorry Scooby's kitchen, we are expecting Spike and Drusilla. In the Avengers' kitchen , Prince Loki of Asgard and Jotunheim and Doctor Victor von Doom of Latveria.   
Chef: Tony, Xander..You're doing table-side steaks. Go and see Philippe for instructions.  
A few minutes later.  
Chef: Philippe, Open Hell's Kitchen.

 

The maitre d' hurried off to comply. The villains walked in smugly. There were vamps and demons. Anya had scored a date with one much to Xander's disgust. A group of HYDRA mooks marched in before sitting at the 12-top.   
The noise and good natured mocking of the kitchen staff was quieted momentarily by Spike and Harmony walking in and being escorted to the red kitchen chef's table. Loki and Victor followed several minutes later..

 

In the confessional pantry,   
Thor: It's good to see my brother again. He looks so much more healthy than when he was run through by a Dark Elf blade.  
~~~~~~~~~  
Announcer's voice over: Both teams are off to a good start though Thor is having troubles on the fish as he's trying to get Loki to see him.

Steve: Thor have you dropped the lobster tail for the risotto yet? 

Bruce: Thor , we need two lots of scallops.

Thor: Loki, brother...It's me..Thor!

Announcer's voice over:   
In the red kitchen Dawn is also having problems with the chef's table.

Chef Ramsay: Who cooked the risotto?

Dawn: Me, Chef.

Chef: it doesn't have garlic in, you Muppet. Taste that Scoobys. It's got too much garlic in. Refire the risotto.

Harmony is looking adoringly at Spike who's totally ignoring her and watching Buffy instead. Both went for the scallops as the app.

Loki and Victor had the risotto.

 

Announcer's voice over:   
Moving onto the entrees and Xander's having problems.

Philippe: Chef, there's a problem with the tableside service.  
Both inspect the steak.  
Chef: It's raw. It's barely at blood temperature. It could still be moo-ing.  
Customer: That's how I like my steak.  
Chef: It could give you food -poisoning and possibly kill you.  
Customer: I'm a vamp..I'm already dead. 

Chef Ramsay retreats to the kitchens.

Chef: Avengers, chef's table. One Wellington, one I'm taking you now Stark up against a wall.

Steve: Dropping the welly..where's the Stark?  
Thor: where's my brother?  
Willow: Where's Buffy?  
Harmony: Where's Blondie-bear?  
Steve: Is that Bucky??

Announcer's voice over:

The two teams start to fall apart in the last few orders causing Chef Ramsay to dismiss them all and asking for two nominations from each team for elimination.  
~~~~~~~~~  
Avengers team discussion.

Clint: Tony. He disappeared half-way through service.  
Nat: Tony for the same reason.  
Bruce..Tony.  
Thor: where's Loki?  
Steve: I have to go with Tony as well. So who's our second choice?  
Clint: Steve  
Nat: Thor  
Bruce: Thor   
Thor: Loki?  
Steve: Thor.  
~~~~~~~~~

 

Scooby's team discussion.

Faith: Dawn for the garlic. Xander for the stakes  
Willow..I can't choose  
Dawn..  
Xander..  
Tara...  
Faith: okay Buffy and Xander. 

In the confessional pantry;

Tony and Loki are half naked and it's fairly obvious food isn't on their minds. Tony is licking the raspberry coulis off Loki's body as it drips down wards..

Tony: Well?  
Loki: Yes.

They hear the two teams start to assemble in the kitchens and Chef asking for the two red teams nominees.  
Faith : Buffy and Xander.  
Chef: Buffy, Xander step forward.  
Steve: Tony and Thor  
Chef : Tony, Thor step forward. I want each of you to explain...where's Tony?

Tony and Loki stumbled out of the pantry..giggling and drinking out of the same bottle .

Chef: Tony , explain to me why you should remain in Hell's Kitchen?  
Tony: I don't want to stay..I'm getting married instead. to Loki..And why would I need a measly quarter of a million salary..

Announcer's voice over: 

You'll never believe what happens on next week's Hell's Kitchen as Avenger fights Avenger and Bucky..  
Fades to images of squabbles in the Blue dorm while Tony and Loki are making out in the hot tub with Dawn watching from one of the loungers.


End file.
